This question is asked by one of our visitors..

Question :
Recently I have become very pessimistic, and I dont like it myself! I lose my anger very easily, I get frustrated over small things and just not too comfy with the environment around me. I have always wanted to share my feelings with someone, but didn’t know who to trust. My mom and dad have fights very frequently. I being very close to my mom understand what is going on with her inside her heart. We live as a joint family, and my dad tends to spend a lot of time with my aunt. Everytime I see the two together I get frustrated and angry, I try to console myself but my self consolation does not last long. My mom gets upset seeing this.

I am very close to my cousins and don’t want to ruin our relationship, but what I see is not the best thing either. I dont know out to talk to my dad because he is very short tempered and I in a way fear him. i always have been scared of him ever since childhood, and recently I feel the father daughter relationship is not going good either. I dont know what to do. I need help. I cant see all this go in my family every day!

Answer :

As someone once said to me that “Anger switches the mind off” couldn’t be more precise about what actually happens to our mind. We all have moments which we wish never came before our eyes but sometimes it feels like we can’t do anything, and there is nothing wrong in feeling “helpless” sometimes, but only in situations which we can not control.

Mind on the other hand is in our own hands, we can mould it shape it however we want it to be. If you wake up everyday with the fear of having a bad day, it will definitly be nothing other than a bad day. Start it with a smile and try “acting” opposite of how you react now to things happening in the family.

What your dad does or mum goes through is what you are bringing on to yourself and making yourself sad. Focus on yourself and bring back that positivity in you only then you can be your mother’s strength. One doesn’t have to be rude to get their point across.

When parents fight it does affect the kids as well that’s for sure. But the fact that you are “killing” your own mind and heart along with it is something you would have to deal with and manage to stay stronger along the way.

Next time they fight, tell yourself that you are to be your mum’s strength, and give her comfort, but do NOT give her vibes that make her even more sad or negative. Smile and tell her life is beautiful, and go out together, take some time out for yourself, find new friends for your mum in the family or other activities that will take her mind away from this stress and give you both room to breath.